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finding the energy

Wow, March is nearly done, only a couple of days left. So much has happened since stepping out of February that it can feel as if this month didn’t really happen. I find my energy has been a bit frenetic instead of focused. I start something and quickly get distracted by another something, and the another. I am running on high, but not productively. I have not yet found the perfect solution for this, and am working on a way to manage what I know will eventually burn things out.

There are stretches like this throughout our lives, sometimes we can see the reason and can go full steam ahead since we know it is a short term state of being. Think packing to move, it is a frantic state yet you can see the why and the end point. March didn’t feel like that to me, I can’t see an end point and more keeps popping up that needs doing or distracts from the task at hand.

I am having to forcibly apply the brakes which makes an awful screeching and grinding sound, takes time to work, and only gives a brief respite before the mental brake slips and things start rolling again. One thing I am doing is long walks. On a walk I am not doing anything but moving my body, the to do list is left at home, and if I can keep my eyes busy my mind will settle. The gym can also serve this purpose on those cold and windy days we are having. While I might not feel completely refreshed, I do feel better for braking the busyness.

Some of the other things I am using are making art, writing long hand letters, writing in general, and reading. All of these require my mind to work and engage differently. I have my first workshop booked, which adds to my to do list yet also gives a break from the many steps involved in starting to clean our my mom’s house and lift all those memories up. Sixty four years she lived in the same place with her cherished possessions. 64. It is a lot to deal with, and it can’t be done quickly. It also enters my thoughts constantly as I make up lists, send emails, make phone calls, and try to start laying out a plan to move forward with while living 4 hours away.

Giving yourself some free time is important, it can even be called brake time. A chance to just slow things down and catch your breath.

When you find that you have some free time you can then be confronted with not knowing where to start, there are so many options, and that page is blank! This is when your energy can really flag, what seemed like a great chance to make something is now mired in the muck of indecision, and concern that what you make might be ugly. Who cares, let go of that thought and just get started. The nice thing about art is you can cover up parts and add something else on top. Creating several pieces at once is to help you get over that drop in creative energy that brought you to your work table. It lets your mind feel as if you are multitasking, when in fact you are creating a series that work together, and having some fun playing.

When you work like this you get a bit of a boost from seeing several completed pieces for the same amount of time spent. This can really help you keep coming back to your supplies when you need a break from whatever it is that is thundering on in your life. Look at where you are at and honestly say “Do I need to break up this pattern.” If you answer ‘yes’, which I expect most everyone would, find something to give yourself the left you need, tap those brakes a bit and slow down.

As the calendar turns from march to April, try to find a way to settle yourself that provides you with some quiet to just enjoy. Stillness is not a bad thing, ask any birdwatcher sitting in a blind, stillness allows you to come back to yourself, to relax and regroup. It needn’t be a resort weekend, or even a one day retreat, you can find a way to get your energy back by slowing your thoughts and actions down for just a handful of minutes each hour. Find your activity, the one that lets you slow you roll for a bit, and pause the constant call to keep pushing.